Once upon a time lived a little girl who grew up in conditions which no others friends had ever seen. She grew up seeing her family live together still so distant from each other that she wondered what is the real meaning of the word ‘family’. She grew up seeing her family members quarrel and play the blame game with each other. Despite of having a kid brother she had no one to share her feelings with because her kid brother was too young to understand all this.
The only place she ever vent out her feelings was in her diary. But when her mother found out about the diary, she discouraged her to write it all in a book where there could be a record of incidents of the family.
She found a new friend in her kid cousin, who was soon taken away because of differences between the families. She had her childhood friends to talk to but she wondered if they would ever understand her agony. Her childhood seemed perfect to other kids because she was strong and covered it all perfectly with a smile.
She struggled to keep her mind off all the matters that had mentally harmed her. as she got into her teens, she tried to make sure that she was always busy. But she had never forgotten her career goals and of course her goal of making the world a happier place for everybody.
She grew up a little more excelled in sports and academics. She learnt craft from her mother and so many teachers to make sure that someday she opens her own business of chocolate making and crafting to help her family financially. But looking at her father’s business fall apart, she decided not to start one at all. She got back to the career path she had thought for herself when she was a lil kid in school.
She grew up a little more, went through some very difficult times of her life and made sure she doesn’t repeat the mistake that people around her have been doing. She grew out to be more mature than her friends because life had shown her its ugly side way too early.
She got into college thinking life is going to get better now and she can finally start changing the world for better. But her life took a turn that made her wonder about her own destiny.
She lost so many people through her journey till date that she didn’t know who to look up to… No, not even her family.
Now that she has grown up and has realised the causes for all the negativity, she tried explaining the world about it but, no one gave her any heed. She then turned to the people around her who she thought were her best buddies. Do you think they would have heard her? No, no one at all. In fact they all landed up treating her like their enemy.
Her mother had taught her to be a good human being, but the girl found it all nonsense because she was trying to be one but, it was always back firing.
The girl had gone into depression and had a troubled mind for years together. No one was able to help her leaving a few people who were dear to her and wanted her to once again smile gleefully.
She got up after having a great fall and decided to bring in a positive change in not only her attitude, but also in the attitude of her family. She followed the advice her mother had always given her hoping thing would get better finally. Since that day her struggle has been on, but to her disappointment she has only being failing at it terribly.
By now she has few friends to talk to about this and share her feelings with, but thinking of not burdening them with her troubles, she kept piling up those feelings within. Today a small incident rather a quarrel with her father had hurt her so much that she has chosen to give in.
She cared so much for her family and just wanted them to be happy. She could see the mistakes that they were committing, but couldn’t help them because they felt that she is just a kid and she doesn’t know anything. Her talking in between was taken as interference by her family.Heart broken at the harsh words by her father she ran into her room and cried her heart out silently. Imagine how difficult that would have been.
She failed in bringing in the change she wanted to and gave up, but she walked out of the matter being a little wiser and knowing what mistakes she’s not ought to ever repeat.
That girl who I am talking about is none other than ME.
I thought I could change the world and make it a better place for all of us to live in and survive. I couldn’t do that.
I thought I could change my family members for the better. I couldn’t do that.
Today I realised, I can change only one world, the one I make for myself and my future family.
Every family goes through troubles and tough times. Few people learn their lessons and then try to mend their ways. Whereas, few refuse to change and teach others a lesson before they leave. The choice is yours.
Today I choose to vent out my feelings and I am not guilty about it. Let the world know what I have been through because I know there is someone out there who is just another ME.