I have realised something today…and I couldn’t help share this incident with you all.
They say, the crowd that you move with, makes an impact on you without you even getting to know about it. Unknowingly, to find yourself accepted in the group, you pick up the habits of others in the group. Is that true? Yes, I guess so. I have changed.
Something that had happened with me today, had made me learn some more things about life and dealing with people around you.
Yesterday I had said something to my colleague that I felt wouldn’t have been too offensive to be told to a friend. She had shown me the pictures of her wound and stitches that she had last year. I frankly did not like it and had suddenly felt a vibe of negativity. In my opinion, a picture of a wound can be preserved at times for medical reasons, but nothing more than that. One must learn to get over the incident just the way the wound would heal itself. Me being a person who carries her heart on her sleeves, I had immediately expressed my displeasure and as a friend I had asked her to get over it and delete the picture, It would not fetch her anything.
Did you find my mistake? Firstly, I treated my colleague as a friend and also landed up speaking to her like one. Secondly, I had forgotten the fact that it isn’t necessary that the other person feels the same about you as you feel for them.
My colleague took offence to what I had told her and instead of directly telling me that she felt bad about what I had told her, she told another colleague of ours about it. The other colleague had come and told me everything and had asked me to apologise. Without a second thought or any hesitation, I had apologised to my colleague.
With that apology I had learnt a lesson for life. It isn’t necessary that others treat you and feel the same about you as you do for them. Especially when at work, it’s better to treat your colleagues as colleagues and nothing more.
But what left me thinking more was that I realised I was never a girl who would have spoken that way, as in, I wouldn’t have ever spoken in the slang language to anyone. May be it was that slang language that had made her feel I was rude to her. Not that she doesn’t speak in that slang, But still. I have always been taught to behave like a dignified woman. Then where did this kind of behaviour come from?
During my long drive in the car on my way back home from work, I kept looking for the answer to my question till I finally realised that I had picked up the slang from my group of friends that I had when I was perusing my masters degree. I was surprised as to how I had unknowingly landed up picking up slang language and behaving in the not so dignified manner. Till date I had just heard about the effect of the people you move with, today I have experienced it.
Looks like it is time for a change again. It’s time to get back to how I was earlier. I had gone astray but I will now get back on track.
But to all my readers out there, I request you all two things. If you have any day had some problem with anyone you know, please sort it out with them directly. Try to not involve a third person unless the issue is out of control between the two of you and a third person is needed. Secondly, think twice before treating your colleague as a friend and suggesting them anything as a well-wisher. They might not understand your intention and they might just not feel the same about you as you do for them.
I had luckily not taken this minor incident to heart and had let it go because I had learnt a lesson, But others may not be like me.