Accept & move on… or may be NOT.

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p style=”text-align:center;”>When we don’t accept an undesired event, it becomes ANGER; When we accept it, it becomes TOLERANCE.
When we don’t accept certainty, it becomes FEAR; When we accept it, it becomes ADVENTURE.
When we don’t accept other’s success, it becomes JEALOUSY; When we accept it, it becomes INSPIRATION.
ACCEPTANCE is the key to handling life well.

I had just come across this short article in the ‘Speaking Tree’ newspaper supplement and to my fate, just that moment hell broke loose at home.

I have hardly seen peaceful times at home and I have just not been able to accept it. As a kid I had started to understand the difference between the right and the wrong even before I was taught about it. As a child I looked up to my parents and become like them, in this process I had gone astray so many times. But when I understood that whatever was happening was wrong, I tried to get myself back on track by doing what is right. It is strange how elders do not realise what they are doing is wrong and they are indirectly teaching the people around them or to the kids in the family to do the same. The don’t realise that they are setting a wrong example for others.

My life has been filled with many undesired events at home, and I had no option but to accept it because I am a so-called ‘kid’. No one paid heed to my words because they thought I had not seen the real world. Yes, at that time I had not seen the real world, but I knew the difference between the right and the wrong.  I had slowly become tolerant of all the happenings so that I could be in peace. But I knew what was happening was wrong. I found no peace in acceptance; instead I found guilt inside me for not being able to raise my voice against the wrong. I can’t change the elders at home, but I thought I could help my brother by showing him the right path just the way my mother always does till date. But to my dismay, I had miserably failed at doing so.

How am I supposed to accept a situation where my brother comes home in frustration and breaks things at home? How am I supposed to accept a father who doesn’t respect his mother or his wife? I can’t help but accept just one thing i.e., my brother is following the footstep of our father which will lead him nowhere in life.

There were days when I had run away from home in such situations, because I couldn’t stand so much negativity and disturbance among my own family members. Every time I ran away my best friends would calm me down, and take me back home only because they knew that my absence would make the situation worse at home. Yes, I tried escaping; I am an escapist because at least that way I was away from all the negative vibes for a while.

There are times you just cannot accept the undesired events and become tolerant… especially the ones who are as sensitive & emotional as I am.

To find another way out, I began overloading myself with so much work that I hardly left myself with enough time to sleep. I rarely met friends or interacted with my family members. Nowadays, my work is my saviour. I just plug-in my head phones, listen to loud music while doing my work so that I don’t get to hear anything thing that is happening outside the doors of my bedroom. If that is how I have to lead my life, then I shall continue to do so.

I was so lost in my thoughts after trying to decode the meaning for the first line of the article that I couldn’t move to the next two lines at all.

I know that these tough times are helping me become a stronger person, but they are also teaching me how to ignore the wrong doings of the people. 😦

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